Babies, Dirt, and Poverty

Local News

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Excerpts are taken from the Moon Lake Town Times Newspaper.

The morning headlines….

Sightings and Satire

Congratulations to Moon Lake longtime resident Dorthea Svenson, who is thrilled to announce the birth of her eighteenth grandchild! She now holds the title of having more grandchildren than any other living grandparent in town. The beaming grandmother boasts that the success of her family’s procreation is due to long winters and few hobbies.

 

The people of ‘On Our Knees Methodist Church’ are doing just that! Congregation members will be on their knees for the yearly Fall Cleaning of the church and landscape, next Saturday. Mark your calendars now! They’re giving this advanced notice, so there will be NO EXCUSES. The same four people are tired of being the only ones to show up, so the project is being called, “Create in me a clean heart.” ANYONE WITH EVEN A SMIDGEN OF SIN SHOULD SHOW UP. WIPE CLEAN THE CHURCH AND YOUR CONSCIENCE ALL IN ONE DAY!

 

The Spanish Club at the high school is asking (really begging) for any donations for their rummage sale happening in three weeks. They’re desperately trying to raise funds so they can take a trip to Guatemala. Help them get rich so they can experience poverty!

 

The State Health Board did a surprise inspection on one of our local diners that we cannot name. Sadly, the local hub lost its license and is no longer permitted to serve meat.

 

Mike’s Steak Wagon is closing but he said he’s thinking of turning it into a Soup and Salad Buffet, under new management.

June 10, 2013

Comments are closed.