All about the Boobies…
by Holly Varni
August 22, 2013

Happy woman

Do your boobs hang low?

    Do they wobble to and fro?

   Can you tie ‘em in a knot?

   Can you tie ‘em in a bow?

   Can you throw ‘em over your shoulder like a continental soldier?

   Do your boobs hang low?”

How important are your breasts to you? Are you attached to the girls? (Pun intended.)

Like my cousin, my mother, my second cousins, my great grandmother, and all the women in my family dating back to 1925, I developed Breast Cancer. It’s not so unusual and special anymore. The chances of you not knowing someone who hasn’t developed it are pretty slim, since 12% of all women are diagnosed with it.

The little song I printed above was sent to me in a card by a cousin and then signed, “That song’s not so funny anymore.”

When I was diagnosed, I made the decision to have a double mastectomy. It was an easy decision for me but I was surprised at the pushback I received from the medical community. My surgeon made me wait 5 weeks for the surgery so that I would have plenty of time to “think it over and really be sure” I wanted to go through with it.

This waiting period is part of their protocol because too many women have had mastectomies and then regretted it. With the loss of that part of their anatomy they plunge into a dark depression because they feel “less like a woman.”

I assured everyone that is not what I would experience because the buggers have been nothing but trouble since day one. For every woman that stops and asks me about the surgery, my response is always the same. “Choose life. Get rid of them. You’re more than your boobs.”

What makes a woman female I think is as varied as what makes a man male. Think of the myriad of things that a woman does that makes her feel more “girly.” We powder, perfume, primp, spritz, accessorize, dress-up, get mani-pedi’s, color, cut and endlessly style our hair. We own a ridiculous amount of shoes, drape ourselves in pretty scarves and load up our hands, wrists and ears with bling.

Not a single thing I listed above has to do with our breasts. We are as much of a “woman” as we decide to be. I know ladies who are absolute tomboys, that go completely “plain Jane” in appearance and don’t suffer from any lack of confidence or comfort in who they are.

Being a woman is intricate and personal, enormous and complex. I am a Christian, mama of three boys, wife, writer, avid reader, diehard romantic, chocoholic, angel collector,  daughter, sister, friend, pushover for Hallmark movies and bargain shopper. All of these things greatly shape me and define my life. Body parts that cause me harm never enter into the equation.

Is it all about the boobies? No. It’s so much more.

Always choose life. Get rid of them.

You are so much more than your boobies, dear friend.